Courtroom Mistakes That Can Cost You Custody

"Over the weekend I was thinking about how some litigants forget basic manners when they're in court. When you walk into a courtroom, it's a pretty formal environment. You've got bailiffs that have guns on their side, judges in black robes.

This is not a Sunday picnic in there. And yet some people walk in as though they're just getting out of the shower and running down to the local store for some coffee. They don't think about dress, they certainly don't think about how they're going to act they're going to say.

I was in court recently that I observed where a father had obtained some custody orders that he was satisfied with, but he was frustrated with the process of getting there. He thought he had to make a point of letting the court know. He would use some language that I'm certain that he would not use with his mother and definitely not with his grandmother. And by the time he was done letting the court know how frustrated he was with the process, the court had determined from his demeanor and his language and his attitude that the court's decision really wasn't in the kids' best interest and put him on supervised visitation.

It's a reminder that when you go in, everything that you do is being watched. It's not just the paperwork you submit, it's not just when you're on the witness stand testifying.

It's when you're sitting next to your attorney or you're sitting by yourself and the other party is saying some things that you really don't agree with. But can you sit there and have some respect and say it's their turn to talk and I can keep my mouth shut and I'll get my chance.

Or do I have to scribble furiously on my paperwork that my attorney is there tugging on their jacket and whisper in their ear constantly and make noises when the other side says something and toss your head back or roll your eyes. Remember, sometimes the court is more interested in what you're doing sitting at your table than what your your ex-spouse is saying on the witness stand.

I would just put that out for people when you're going into court, remember those manners that you grew up with and really extend them to everybody."