Courtroom Mistakes That Can Cost You Custody

Hitting you with some Monday Madness from a divorce attorney. Over the weekend I was thinking about how some litigants forget basic matters when they are in court. When you walk into a courtroom, it's a pretty formal environment. You've got bailiffs that have guns on their side, judges in black robes. This is not a Sunday picnic in there. And yet some people walk in as though they're just getting out of the shower and running down to the local store for some coffee. They don't think about dress. They certainly don't think about how they're going to act, or what they're going to say. I was in court recently, where I observed a father had obtained some custody orders that he was satisfied with, but he was frustrated with the process of getting there, and he thought he had to make a point of letting the court know. He used some language that I'm certain that he would not use with his mother, and definitely not with his grandmother. And by the time he was done letting the court know how frustrated he was with the process, the court had determined — from his demeanor and his language and his attitude — that the court's decision really wasn't in the kid's best interest, and put him on supervised visitation. It's a reminder that when you go in, everything that you do is being watched. It's not just the paperwork you submit. It's not just when you're on the witness stand testifying. It's when you're sitting next to your attorney, or you're sitting by yourself, and the other party is saying some things that you really don't agree with. But can you sit there and have some respect, and say, it's their turn to talk, and I can keep my mouth shut, and I'll get my chance? Or do I have to scribble furiously on my paper, or — if my attorney's there — tug on their jacket and whisper in their ear constantly, and make noises when the other side says something, and toss your head back, and roll your eyes? Remember, sometimes the court is more interested in what you're doing sitting at your table than what your ex-spouse is saying on the witness stand. I would just put that out for people: when you're going into court, remember those manners that you grew up with, and really extend them to everybody.